1st Audition....

This past Friday I headed up to Rochester, NY to audition for the Eastman School of Music. I was beyond nervous, even if I don't like to admit it. I didn't know what to expect, and I think the uncertainty of the whole situation was what really wracked my nerves. I knew I had to be at Eastman by 9 am for a convocation and a subsequent theory test. Now, I have never taken a formal class, so I was nervous for that also. Theory is essential to all musicians including singers, so it was fitting that we took that examination while at the audition. However, it made me very nervous. I also was just scared my voice wouldn't work or I would mess up. I just felt like everything was so competitive that one mistake would ruin any chance I had at getting accepted anywhere. I was freaking out. On top of all of those feeling that had already been brewing, on my final plane from Boston to Rochester, I checked my email, only to find a rejection from Juilliard. Now, I didn't even want to apply there, but my mom and boyfriend had pressured me. However, even though I didn't want to apply or go there, rejection still stung, and it definitely wavered my confidence. 

The morning of my audition I woke up early to get prepared. I didn't yet know what time my audition was. They would let me know when I got there, but it is always best for singers to be awake hours before they have to sing. I put on my dress, which was black and to the knee. It was simple but appropriate. I pulled my hair back, and put on appropriate makeup. I knew I had to eat breakfast even though my stomach was in knots, so I tried to eat oatmeal. I left early with ample time to make it to Eastman, but the cab took me to the wrong place, so I was late. Great, I thought. I was worried they wouldn't even let me in by the time I got there. However, I had only just missed the beginning of the convocation. 

The convocation was being given in one of the performance spaces at Eastman, Kilbourn Hall. It was beautiful and seated a good number of people. The man giving the welcome had been a student at Eastman and now worked in admissions there. He was very warm and welcoming, and he was quite funny, using humor to lighten the tense air to the room. He informed us that all undergraduate applicants had to take a theory examination at 9:30, but that it wouldn't be used to decide who was accepted, it would merely be a tool to see how much theory we knew and how much we needed to learn. So, the undergraduate applicants filed out the back of the auditorium to take the theory test. 

I sat down to take the theory test, more nervous than ever. Then I heard a girl sitting next to me whispering that she had just been called back at Juilliard. Well, as much as I'd like to tell myself I didn't care... I did. It made me less and less confident. I was really starting to doubt myself. The theory exam was distributed, and I immediately looked through it. I was pleasantly surprised by the basic material being tested. It was all scales, intervals, key signatures, and chords. Of course there were some I'm sure I missed, but overall, I had a good feeling turning it in. I was feeling a little bit more comfortable. 
After the theory test, I headed upstairs to get my schedule.

After looking at my schedule, I realized it was going to be a long day. My audition wasn't until 4:48, and there were plenty of things in between. The first thing on the list was a group meeting. At the group meeting, all of the voice and opera applicants met with the head of the voice department and another professor. They told us a lot about Eastman's program stressing longevity and sustainability of the singer. That really struck a chord with me since my personal teacher, Maggie, always stresses vocal health and the importance of building a long career. Everything about Eastman's program sounded amazing. There were ample scholarship opportunities for all students. They put on three operas a year. However, Eastman is one of the hardest music schools to be accepted into in the country. Over 600 applicants applied to the vocal program, and 80 were called back for live auditions, and from those 80, only 18-22 are chosen for to be admitted. It is very competitive. 

After the group meeting, I had a group interview, which just designed to be an informal way of getting to know the applicants better. I was in a group with a cellist,  and two singers. The interviewer asked us questions like: how has the college application process been? what do you do outside your instrument? how will you ultimately chose a school? was there a moment when you knew this was what you were meant to do? etc. The interview was perhaps the most relaxing part of the day, allowing me and my fellow applicants to just relax and talk. It lasted approximately 40 minutes. 

After the interview was aural skills. That is when they test our sight reading skills. I was given a line of music and had to sight read it for a camera. I was then given another line of music, but i just sang the rhythm of the music. This test was also just used for informational purposes, and they said it did not affect who was admitted or not.

After aural skills, all I had to do was wait. So to pass the time, I was able to talk to some of the students who actually attended Eastman. I talked to one girl named Anica about her experience. She applied to about 7 colleges and was admitted to all of them, including Juilliard, but she chose Eastman, and I was curious why. She told me that Eastman was much more nurturing to its students and really cared about their development and health. Juilliard seemed far too rigid and would only let the singers sing, with no other means of education allowed. I also asked her about how it was for her to audition at Eastman. She told me that in the middle of her song, she messed up and asked to start over. The vocal faculty said no, but they said she could start from where she messed up. She left feeling awful and that she definitely would not be admitted. However, she was. That made me less nervous. She stressed to me that they weren't looking for finished products; they were looking for potential and performers. 

Soon enough it came time for me to go to the green room where I waited for my turn to audition. We got to audition in Kilbourn Hall, which was beautiful and big, with good acoustics. As I walked up to audition I greeted the four members of the vocal faculty judging me, and tried to stay calm. I remember most of how my first song, "In Uomini, In Soldati" went. I know I stayed in character the whole time, but the judges looked at me like they were at a funeral, which I know they are supposed to do, but still, it's weird to be performing a comedic character role to an audience that looks like their dog just died. Anyway, I got to my second cadenza, and the accompanist messed up, but I kept gong, never breaking character. Once it was done I felt pretty good about it. I was just hoping all of my high notes were in tune. Next, the vocal faculty picked one of my two other songs for me to sing. The options were "O Sleep" and "Notre Amour." They chose "Notre Amour." Now, I don't remember much of what happened during this song. I swear it was just a blur. I think I stayed in character the whole time, but I honestly don't remember. I was trying to remember to be legato and breath and have intonation, and amidst all that I just forgot to think. Well, I remember the end, because I don't think it went right. I just couldn't tell or remember if everything was in tune, but before I knew it, it was all over. The vocal faculty thanked me, and I thanked them and the accompanist while walking off the stage. 

Everyone who had come out before me was smiling and raving about how great their audition went. Well.... I just didn't feel great. My mentality is that things could always be better, so I just couldn't feel that great about my  audition. Oh well. It was over. I was honestly feeling kind of lousy as I walked out of Eastman. I expected to feel relieved and proud once I was done, but I just felt like I could have done better. However, I have had a couple of days to meditate on my performance, and I am sure I did fine. I know that I maintained my character the entire time. I also realize that the competition was probably getting to me and intimidating me. I know now that I have to be more confident about my performance before, after, and during. I have to realize that I do have talent, and so do these other gifted singers. The vocal faculty just wanted to hear us share our talents. 

On the way back to Charleston, I got an email from Oberlin Conservatory inviting me to a live audition. The next day, I got an email from the head of the vocal department at Oberlin saying that he really liked my prescreening recording and wanted to offer me a free lesson while I was at Oberlin. I think that was all I needed to get my confidence back up. So now I have my game face on. I  leave in four days for NYU and Carnegie Mellon to audition again. Then Oberlin, Northwestern, and finally, Mannes. I just have to stay confident and healthy through these next weeks. One down, five to go!

How to Audition.... Well

Tomorrow I am heading up to Eastman School of Music in Rochester, NY to audition for their classical music program. It is my first of a tour of auditions I will be completing from now until March. Since it is my first audition I didn't exactly know what to expect, so I did some research. Auditions are so unpredictable, that should basically be the mantra for all people auditioning. I once read an article in Opera News, one opera's most famous and popular magazines about auditioning from the perspective of the auditioner. I think that is a very good point of view to take into consideration, and it also provides a rare look at what the person behind the table is thinking. Let's face it, how often do we actually get to talk to the person we are auditioning for? If we want information, we are most likely going to get it from someone in a similar situation ie: another person auditioning. This article stressed a couple of key things: what you sing, how you look, and how you act.

1. What you Sing: this is crucial because you must pick repertoire that is suitable for you. Do not try and show off by singing something that is beyond your ability. Pick music that highlights your strengths and downplays your weaknesses but that is not over your head. Choosing the right cocktail of songs and arias is critical to success in an audition.

2. How you Look: how you look is actually crucial. Think about it, it's like you are applying for a job. Therefore, one must appear professional. Just like with the music you chose, the outfit is also very important. You must accentuate the good parts of your body, but by no means should you appear too sexy or dare I say it vulgar. Women's dresses should be to her knee at least, definitely no shorter, and they should also not be too low cut. No one will take you seriously dressed like that. Now, if you are auditioning for the role of a seductress, maybe highlight your assets and look sensual without looking vulgar. Also, neutral dark tones are ideal. Black is fine as well as dark greys, blues, deep reds etc. Your hair must be pulled back from your face. Minimal jewelry, nothing too showy or distracting. And natural makeup to again highlight your best features. You have to be a car salesman selling yourself, but keep it tasteful of course.

3. How you Act: this is incredibly important as well, because you really never know who is watching or listening. Being rude to someone you think is insignificant could definitely get back to the audition committee. No one wants to hire a diva, so be courteous and kind to everyone you meet, including your fellow singers vying for a part. I heard once of a directer going out with the other people auditioning pretending to audition himself to see their attitudes towards him, each other, and everyone helping  in the audition process. When in front of the panel, be yourself. Don't be too nice or too cheery, they will know you are faking it. Also, don't get cocky. Stay humble and centered during the entire audition process.

I also found another blog called the College Audition Blog, which definitely peaked my interest seeing as I am about to begin this long grueling but ultimately critical process. This one post featured incredibly famous opera singer Anna Ntrebko. Since she is one of the most famous opera singers in the world currently, this article focuses on how that exactly happened for her.

1. Bachelor's Degree
2. Graduate School
3. A. Performance Certificate/ Artist program
    B. Doctorate
    C. Audition for YAP
4. The Young Artist Programs:
    A. pay-to sing
    B. non-union YAP
    C. Union YAP
5. Competitions
6. YAP to small roles
7. small roles to Agent
8. full career

That is the most perfect bare broken down list of how an opera career happens. However, each career would be different to dissect. As I have researched different opera singers this year, since many of them did rise to fame and did have full blossoming careers, in many ways, their career paths did resemble that list. Of course there is adversity hidden in between each number, and even people who seamlessly rise to the top face some challenges along the way: it may be racism, it may be over exposure, it may be confidence.
This path reminded me a lot of Janai Brugger's current path; she was very lucky to rise to the top so easily. She did everything right, and things just did seem to fall in line for her, which is amazing. However, we must all remember this is what the ideal looks like, not necessarily a reality. For example, my voice teacher Maggie had a completely different career trajectory. I will post more about her story later, but it helped remind me sometimes where we want to go isn't where we are meant to go.

So as I fly up to Rochester I will be thinking of all of these things. I will try to keep in mind it's not always easy, everyone's not always going to like me, but to be kind, have fun, and be myself at all costs. This is just the first step of many on hopefully a long path. Wish me luck!

Listening

As interesting and informing as reading and researching opera is, it makes one want to listen more and more. When I read about a critic describing the lucid and shimmering voice of a famous soprano, the next thing I know I am on youtube hanging on her every note. Having a good ear is vital to the career of a musician. It's not just an ear in the the very structured musical sense, but it is the ability to differentiate between musical ability and the technicality of a singer. To be able to hear the difference between good and great even is vital. So many people are just not exposed to it and therefore cannot tell a difference, resulting in a lack of appreciation. That is something else I have learned this year through my project: appreciating something like opera is an active process. You almost need to have background knowledge and be culturally seasoned. Unlike watching a modern music video or listening to a pop song, you have to actively be engaged to enjoy and appreciate opera. Most of the time it is in a different language, which requires constant reading and listening for translations and familiar words. The music is very complex, and appreciating the musicians that so seamlessly produce it is also vital. One cannot simply go to the opera and watch while thinking about something else. One won't understand or appreciate unless all the senses are used. That is why people always have an opinion about opera because it is such a conscious experience; if you are putting that much effort into appreciating and valuing that kind of intellectual and emotional experience, you better have an opinion about it. I think that is one that thing that is so fascinating about the arts, everyone can invest themselves in a piece of art, music, or dance, and come out having an established opinion, that no one can take from them. This brings me to my point that listening and seeing opera is so incredibly vital. 

I found out that the Charleston Public Library has live screenings of the Met Operas about twice a month. I think it would be incredibly beneficial for me to go watch them and try to establish my own opinions on what I see. The more I watch the more seasoned my musical palette will become. I think it will also be a very important extension of my project itself. I have read about all the famous operas as well as many obscure ones, and to be able to see them "live" with real singers and actors will really help solidify their importance in my mind. It will also help me personally as a singer to get to see the professionals interpretations and techniques. I can't wait to get started!

http://www.ccpl.org/content.asp?action=detail&catID=5367&id=77004&parentID=5368

Here is a link to the Charleston Public Library Met Screenings schedule!

News!

I have some news! One part of my project which is very personal and requires me to grow based on the knowledge I garner from my studies, is my own vocal training. Since I applied as a vocal major back in November, I had to pass the pre-screeinging round before I could be invited to a live audition at any schools. Since there are simply so many applicants, the pre-screening process has been implemented to cut down the number of live auditions the faculty and jury must arrange on campus. So far I have heard back from Eastman, NYU, Mannes, Northwestern, and Carnegie Mellon, and they all have called me back! So these next two months will be very busy with me preparing technically and artistically for these auditions. I read somewhere that the live audition, for some schools, comprises 95% of the criteria for admission. Therefore, I must be on my game when I go in there for the live audition. In most cases, I will be judged by a jury including some if not all of the vocal faculty. In most cases I do not get to bring my own accompanist nor work with the chosen accompanist before the audition, which adds a bit of stress. What I find exciting and interesting about this whole process is that this is exactly how all of the singers I have been studying and researching started out: auditioning. Before anyone of them made it, they had an education. Who knows, maybe while I'm at one of these schools auditioning, I'll meet the next Leontyne Price or Maria Callas. This is also just the beginning of auditioning, so I had better not only get used to it but get good at it. It doesn't matter if you can sing wonderfully with amazing artistry, skill, and technique, if you can't nail that in an audition, you will never be given the chance to have a career. Auditions are vital, and understanding them is also crucial. I have to think about why I am there and what I am trying to do. What does the jury want? What are they looking for? A professor from Curtis (perhaps the most difficult music school to be admitted to in the country) said they are looking for someone to make them feel something. If someone made him cry, he or she would be in. Simple. Not so simple. It's not easy to break the hard outer shells of these judges, and they will probably be exhausted from seeing so many students. But my job is to trust my technique is there, what I have so far at least, and to let myself understand and interpret the songs I am singing as seamlessly as possible. If I can do that, hopefully, I will get in somewhere. However, my first audition is January 25, so I don't have much time! I need to start polishing my technique, working on my breath control and support, and really spending time thinking about which character I'm playing and what that character wants. It's going to be a hectic few months, but it will prepare me for my future in this business with out a doubt!