Last weekend I had my sixth and final audition at Mannes School of Music in New York City. At that point I had no apprehension about my audition. It was my sixth audition, and I just was ready to do and be done. I arrived at Mannes at 8 am to take a theory test. It was hard. They administered the same test to graduate as well as undergraduate students, so that made me feel a little better about bombing it. However, I have had no formal theory lessons, and there is so much more I need to learn. This test was evidence of that for sure.
After the theory test, we had sight singing and aural skills evaluations. I sight sang...okay. It could've been worse, but it also could have been better:(P.S. another thing I need to perfect in college). I got the intervals I had to sing right at least. But it was okay. I spoke to the woman about it, and she agreed with me that college is the place to learn all of those vital skills, if they haven't already been learned.
After the tests, I went to warm up. Mannes had current students showing us around and answering any potential questions. As I began to warmed up, I could sense that my voice was tired, but I know well enough now that I can sing through it. I warmed up the lower part of my voice the most, to get the rhaspyness out as well as an phlegm. I ran through all of my pieces, and "Notre Amour" was feeling much better in my voice, so I was hoping they would chose that one.
Once I finished warming up, I met my mom in the lounge area. She was talking with three other families whose children were also auditioning. It was great to talk to all of them about the other schools to which they had applied, which ones they liked the best, which ones they liked the least, and how they were going to make their decisions. It's easy to get caught up in the competition and fear that everyone is better than you, but meeting and talking to these people made me realize how similar we all are. We are all afraid of failure, and part of us will always be wondering if we really know what we are doing. We were all good support for each other as we went into the concert hall to perform for the panel.
I caught a glimpse of the concert hall before I walked in. It was spacious and beautiful. There was a stage facing the judges. When it was my turn, everyone wished me luck, and I walked confidently to the stage. There was a panel of seven again. They welcomed me to sing my choice first, and I obviously sang "In Uomini" again. The judges were very responsive, which was great; I got into my character, and sang as well as I could, enjoying the acoustics of the space. When I finished, they said thank you, and then chose "Notre Amour." Yesssssssss, I thought. They told me I probably wouldn't be singing the whole thing. All the better, the ending was feeling a little rough anyways. Well, I began to sing, and I sang it with as much emotion and lyrical litheness as I could. They stopped me after my third verse. They had heard enough. They thanked me, and I thanked both the judges as well as the accompanist, and I proceeded down the stairs of the stage.
Then, it happened. I fell. Not just fell, wiped out. Not only in front of the judges and accompanist, but someone had opened the door allowing all the other applicants to see my fall. I was actually in pain, and felt the reality of a large bruise forming in the near future, but I made a joke. "Haha! I meant to do that to get your attention!" I tried to laugh it off, and after the judges had gotten over their initial shock of me falling, they laughed with me. One man assured me they couldn't forget that. Another woman whispered, "This has never happened before." Yet another, "Warn the other girls." "No, warn everyone." Well, at least I had made a statement, as well as potentially saving the lives, or at least pride, of my fellow applicants.
I got up and walked out, thanking the judges one more time. I couldn't contain my laughter at myself. Everyone told me I sounded great, which was sweet. I was done. No more auditions. At least I went out with a bang!
Now I wait. For all six of them.
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